What Defines You?

I am defined by many things. I like to think I am first defined by my family -- my upbringing, my mother, father, brother and sister. They have impacted my life in ways they have no knowledge of. I am also defined by those around me. The relationships I have had, the people I have met along the way, my close friends, and my acquaintances, and those who have inspired me. And I am also defined by the events that have occurred in my life -- the experiences. The positive events, the negative events, the events I participated in, and the events I missed. And finally, I am defined by my emotions -- how I respond to situations, how I feel about everything -- good, bad, ugly.

While I think that defining instances exist, and some people are truly defined by instances or one-time-occurrences, most people are defined over time, by family, relationships, experiences and emotions. It is part of the learning process of life. Whether you are in school and as you become educated, you develop feelings, values, opinions, and the confidence to know and relate to them, or if you are an avid exerciser and constantly challenging yourself with more difficult workouts, pushing the boundaries of your comfort zone, thereby creating mental and physical obstacles to overcome. -- these experiences, people and interactions may define you more than a one-time occurrence.

I constantly wonder what defines me. What defines me in a given moment. Is it a max effort? A max weight? A perspective on responsibility? Or family? Does it change as I change? Can it vary, be different, and stay the same, all at the same time?? I think it is all of the above. I think it can be different, and it is constantly changing, as I change. I think that sometimes it is one given thing at one moment, and a variable the next. It could be a dnf in a workout, or a life-changing event.

Are you defined over a period of time -- a particular challenging time, or was there a defining moment in your life -- an instant that changed who you are? Or are you defined by what you do? How does what defines you change as you change? Are you continually redefined by the things that are important to you, or the things that impact your existence?

How does what defines you impact your life, your existence, those around you? Are you a better person for it? Do you wish you could be?

Post your thoughts to comments.

Slap in the FACE

Reality slapped me right in the face the other day. Really… Right…. In…. the…. FACE

I was reviewing pictures of me from the recent CrossFit sectional competition, and there was one thing that consistently appeared in every single picture of me. Something that I did not notice before. The expression on my face was the same in every single picture, no matter what I was doing. OMG, I have a workout face! And it is not a nice, pretty face. It is not a determined face, at least I don’t think. It is not a face that says, “Look out, I’m going to kick some ass on this workout.” My workout face is truly pathetic! It is crooked. It is strange. It does not make others shudder at the sight. It is not frightening in a good way, but instead, is in dire need of a makeover. A serious makeover.

Well, what is my workout face??? It’s hard to describe, so I will show it to you…



In every picture it is the same. I don’t get it… Where did this expression come from? What is up with my jaw??? I don’t look intense… I don’t look mad… I just look ridiculous!!! And not like I am trying to get ridiculous with the weights, but just plain ole “ridiculous“! Does making that face help me breathe better? Does it make me stronger? Does it make others afraid? Someone help me understand it, please!!!

Once I discovered this, I started looking at older pictures, and they were the same. I had the face. I have probably had the face for quite some time. Is it now a habit? Can I change it?

I pointed it out to a friend, and she said, “Well, you always look like that”, and “I didn’t want to point it out”. You didn’t want to point is out??? Really?? Do you think I would want to look like that if I had a choice? Please, point it out!!! Tell me that I look ridiculous so that I can do something about it! Being aware of it is the first step in being able to change it… Seriously, I need to change it! Soon!

But how? During my workouts I am solely focused on the workout. How could I focus on my face at the same time??? I tried breathing differently. That didn’t work… I couldn’t be consistent about breathing differently and reverted back to the face… I tried closing my mouth. That also didn’t work… Not enough air coming in… I had someone tell me, mid workout, “the face, the face”, and I consciously tried to make a different face. This resulted in me just laughing and losing concentration.

So how do I get rid of it? How do I change it? Should I change it?

I decided to look online to see what other kinds of workout faces were out there. I found ice skaters that had amazing workout faces, Full faces of make up, and funny expressions at the same time – almost comical.

There are tennis players whose faces contorted each time they hit the ball, showing the intense power used to smack the ball as hard as they can.

And I found some CrossFitters, like me, who also had some funny workout faces.

So, at least I am not alone.

But now I am aware, and with awareness come a certain amount of self-consciousness. Hopefully not enough to hold me back… I will continue to try to work on my workout face, hopefully eventually being able to change it for the better. But until then, don’t be surprised if you see it in a gym near you! And please don’t point it out to me mid-workout… That would make the workout suffer, along with my ego.

Do you have a workout face? Can you help me change mine? Post link or image and suggestions to comments

Age Is Just A Number

I am 45 years old. I don’t start today’s posting with this as a way to gain sympathy, although a little every now and again is kind of nice… I start today’s post to help keep things in perspective.

I have been called an athlete, which I thought was interesting, if not funny… I guess I don’t think of myself as the athletic type… I have never competed in any sport. I train in CrossFit, and I compete with myself, to be better, stronger, faster, etc. All the pillars of CrossFit… And I occasionally chase the “big dog”… Until this past weekend.

This past weekend I competed in the San Diego/Arizona Sectionals for CrossFit. I was one of about 40 women who competed. The top 20 women would move on to the Regional competition. I felt I had a fairly good chance of moving on, the odds were good, but I didn’t want to be cocky about it. I trained hard to prepare, and during the Sectional workouts, I pushed myself hard. Could I have trained harder? Yes. Could I have pushed myself harder? Sure. Isn’t that always the case? But I had a 50/50 chance, so the odds were even. Exactly.

But what I experienced this past weekend, and what I saw this past weekend, is nearly beyond explanation and comprehension.

I saw a man overcome physical limitations and compete as if he had none. He finished 147 double-unders with a prosthetic leg. I saw frustration in a woman, as she tried her hardest to finish the same WO, even though she could not do what was being asked, and eventually ran out of time. She did not give up. Time gave up on her. I saw a community of CrossFitters come together to cheer on the man who just wanted to finish the WO, regardless of his place in the competition. I saw people cheer and support athletes they did not even know. I saw the respect and admiration for the athletes who were in the top contenders, and I saw the respect and admiration for the athletes who just did.

I saw struggles, hardships, victories, support, honor, strength and camaraderie. I saw athletes of all sizes, shapes and colors, bound together by one thing, the desire to do more, faster and better, and an ultimate love for CrossFit and the CrossFit community.

It does not matter what your limitations may be. Limitations are self-imposed. In this community, the CrossFit community, all that matters is that you try. That you attempt, and that you persevere. That you give your best each time, knowing that your best is for that specific moment – whether a daily WOD or a competition. That you are competing against you own self imposed limitations, not any real limitations.

I am 45 years old, it is a biological limitation. It will not be a self-imposed limitation. I am 45 years old, and age is just a number.

Congratulations to all the athletes who competed in the San Diego/Arizona Sectionals.

Check out the clip from Day 1! WMV MOV

Comments??? Please post.

Training the Handstand Push-up

I’m going to start with two caveats… First, this is not my training regimen. It was given to me, as I am passing on to you (Thanks to Jennifer Roberts!!!). Second, I am not an expert at this. This is just what has worked for me. It may or may not work for you.

When I knew I needed to learn how to do a hspu, my biggest fear was not the push-up itself, but being upside down. How would I get in that position? How would I handle it? What if I passed out? These were honest concerns that I had. I had some people that helped me get over that fear so that I could actually work on the hspu itself, without working on the fear.

Once over the fear, the training of the hspu was very exact and easy to follow. I had a goal of being able to do 5 consecutive hspus in a row, in 6 weeks. 6 weeks is in about 10 days or so, and I think I will achieve it. So, here it is…

Train the hspu every other day, alternating between the following WOs:

Workout 1
Handstand holds: Go into a handstand position against the wall and hold it for a 1 minute interval. Repeat 5 times. Rest as needed in between holds (but not all day – usually no more than a few minutes – it is a workout…). If you can’t do a minute, do as long as you possibly can for each interval, increasing the amount of time you are able to hold until you can hold for a minute.

These are tough. It is difficult to hold for a minute. Engage your core, engage your shoulders. Press it up – hard. Do not collapse through the spine. Core engagement is important as it stabilizes your spine and makes your shoulders work less.

Workout 2
Handstand negatives: These are strength building movements. They are done in 5 sets of 5, or 5X5. Go up into a handstand position against the wall and slowly lower yourself to the ground (you may want to do this on a rug or blanket). As soon as you get to the ground, kick back up to the handstand position and do it again, until you have done 5 reps. Complete 5 sets of 5 reps, resting as needed between sets. Remember, it is a strength building exercise. You rest as you would if it were back squats, push presses, or any other strength WO you might be doing (not hours of rest, but minutes).

The focus here is lowering yourself as slowly as possible and in a controlled manner. If it is difficult to lower yourself slowly all the way down (you’re banging your head on the ground too much), then start these with an ab mat, so the distance is less. Until you can perform without an ab mat.

In Addition
Each time I did one of the WOs above, I also did sets of hspus with an ab mat. I started out with one ab mat with a book under it, then went to just the ab mat, then a small book, then nothing. While the two exercises above are really great at building strength, I believe it is still important to work on the actual down-up movement. I usually did hspus after the above WOs, and did as many as I could, until I failed. Set, after set. Sometimes it would just be a few short sets, sometimes I could do a dozen reps, and then 8, then 5, then 2, then fail. It all depended on the other WOs I did throughout the week. If I did a lot of upper body/shoulder WOs with heavy weights, then I would struggle with the hspus. Some days the hspus felt great, sometimes they were really difficult. Good days and bad days… All good for training.

Training for Consecutives
To get my consecutive hspus, I just did singles and work on stringing them together, until failure. I did 3 in a row a week ago. When I start failing with the unassisted hspus, I then do negatives, so I still receive the benefits and the strength training.

More Stuff
WODs are a bit different, as there are other factors at play. You are moving fast, doing multiple movements. Sometimes the strength cannot be found. Right now, during a WO, if hspus are present, I use 1 ab mat. A month ago I was using 2 ab mats and barely finishing. Now I use 1, and do a better job. Soon I will no longer need an ab mat.

Another benefit of training the hspu… greater shoulder strength for push presses. Yesterday I PRd my push press at 140. My 5 rep was 125, 3 rep was 135, and I was trying for 140 when I failed on my third rep. So I did 2 at 140#. I have been holding at 127# for push presses for months, and now, since training my hspus, I was able to push past this stagnant point, PRing the 5-rep, 3-rep, and 2-rep.

This is what has worked for me. You can see if it works for you. Or maybe you have something else that works? Let me know, either way…

Whac-A-CrossFit-Mole

Whac-A-Mole is an arcade redemption game. A typical Whac-A-Mole machine consists of a large, waist-level cabinet with five holes in its top and a large, soft, black mallet. Each hole contains a single plastic mole and the machinery necessary to move it up and down. Once the game starts, the moles will begin to pop up from their holes at random. The object of the game is to force the individual moles back into their holes by hitting them directly on the head with the mallet, thereby adding to the player's score. The more quickly this is done the higher the final score will be.

So what does this Whac-A-Mole game have to do with CrossFit and why am I talking about it??? I reached a conclusion the other day that CrossFit training is a lot like Whac-A-Mole. At least MY training is a lot like Whac-A-Mole.

I know what my weaknesses are. I do the daily WOs, but then I do more, either before or after the daily WO. I do additional WOs that focus on my weaknesses. Sometimes the additional WO does not interfere with the daily prescribed WO, sometimes it does. Luck of the draw… But I train my weaknesses, so that I can get stronger, faster, more agile, etc.

Here is where the Whac-A-Mole game comes in. In training my weaknesses I get stronger in those areas. But in focusing on those weaknesses, some other skills, speed, strength, diminishes. WHAC!!! Why??? Why does this happen? Is it because of the intense focus in one very specific area??? When focusing on one area, do I tend to not focus so much in other areas? Are those the areas that diminish? As I focus in on the current mole, it disappears as I hit it, and another pops up.

Here’s an example. Double unders. Definitely a skill. A skill I had recently acquired. I was not the best at double-unders, but I could do nearly 20 without missing. I had practiced my double unders, in addition to the daily WOs. I practiced them so that I could acquire the skill. As I acquired the skill, I no longer practiced as much as I had previously. Double unders were appearing more often in my WOs, so I was getting some practice, but not the focused practice. I started to put my intentional focus on other areas. And I got stronger in those areas. While I got stronger in those areas, my double-unders got worse. WHAC! My double unders got so bad that I could only do one or two at a time. WHAC! So what gives? Why did the skill go away? It nearly went away over night!

So now I need to re-focus on Double unders. And what will go away if I re-focus on double-unders? What will go away??? And how can I focus on double unders and everything else that I need to do to improve my additional weaknesses? What mole will pop up while I am pounding the mallet on the double unders? WHAC! WHAC! WHAC! WHAC!

Post your thoughts to Comments.

Play an online version of Whac-A-Mole

Aspirations and Goals and Reinvention

As we enter into 2010, many of us start to think about our aspirations and goals. The New Year brings about new opportunities to achieve something that we may not have achieved before, to try something new, different, exciting… The New Year gives us a launching pad for new goals, with new ways of measuring those goals and new challenges in achieving them.

I am an executor of and believer in short term goals – what do I want to get done this month or next month. I have a more difficult time with the longer term goals – what do I want to do in 3 years, 5 years, or 10 years. I think this has to do with the constant transformation I go through, the constantly reinvention of myself – but more on that later. So, here is the question… Does the quest for the short term goals drive the long term goal, even if I don’t know what that long term goal might be? Meaning, if I continue to drive towards short term goals that get met and added to as time passes, am I really driving towards a long term goal, without having truly identified that goal? Would I be able to achieve a long term goal faster or more efficiently, if I knew what it was from the beginning, and designed my short term goals to meet my long term goals?

Back to the issue of constant transformation. Does the fact that I am constantly changing better suit short term goals vs. long term goals??? What if I had a long term goal but halfway towards meeting it I decided I no longer wanted it. I had changed in some major way that made the long-term goal no longer relevant. Would I feel like a failure for not achieving it? Does having only short term goals give me the flexibility to be constantly reinventing, or does only having short term goals keep me from achieving greater things? Is it more important to be able to be reinventing myself or drive towards long-term goals? Could constant reinvention be a long-term goal, only achieved by short-term goals?

What comes first, the chicken or the egg!!!

I set a short term fitness goal and did not achieve it. I felt like a balloon that just had the air let out of it. I tried to achieve it, but perhaps I did not try enough. Or perhaps the goal should have been a long-term goal. Or maybe it just wasn’t important enough.

I did not achieve the goal. Could I have achieved it if I had really focused on it and worked every day towards it? Or was the goal too lofty, and therefore unachievable in the time allotted? After some evaluation, I have determined that I need to continue towards this goal, and make it a longer term goal. I have worked 6 weeks to achieve it. 6 weeks was not enough. So rather than writing it off as a failure, I will re-align my timeline for this goal and continue to try to achieve it. Perhaps I will achieve it by my birthday. That is nearly 6 months away. It is still a short term goal, but a longer-term short term goal. (WOW, is that possible???) I feel confident that I can achieve it, should I not go through some other major transformation that leaves it irrelevant… (LOL)

What are your goals? Do you set long term or short term goals? Or both? Do you set goals that are easy or difficult to achieve? How do you respond to an unmet goal? Post thoughts to comments.

In Pursuit of Rest

Why, as a CrossFitter, do I struggle so much with the concept of a “rest day”? CrossFit.com prescribes 3 on, 1 off for a workout regimen. That is, 3 workout days followed by one rest day. CrossFit Phoenix does 2 on, 1 off. I have heard of some places doing 5 on, 2 off. Rest is important, it is prescribed. So, if it is important, why is it so difficult to follow the prescription?

I tend to try to follow the 2 on, 1 off regimen. However, on at least one of the “off” days, I do a workout. Sometimes both “off” days… And sometime on the “on’ days I do a workout in the morning, and a workout in the afternoon, a double. Why do I feel the need to do so much?

Is it the adrenalin? The rush of the metcon or heavy weight? Or the ability to do something that not many women can do? Am I addicted to the endorphins?

I have been teaching fitness classes for 10 years. I know that the body needs rest. I know about overtraining. I have experienced it before. Overtraining occurs when you train beyond your body’s ability to recover. When you exercise longer and harder so you can improve, without adequate rest and recovery, the training regimens backfire, and actually decrease performance. Overtraining…

So, if I know about it, why do I have a difficult time with the rest day? You would think that I would rest, as prescribed. You would think… But I struggle with it, and really only rest occasionally.

Today is a rest day after 8 days “on”. And I swear… I will rest today.