368 Out of 725+ ... Cancer and Reflections on the CrossFit Open

As the 2012 Games begin, I am reflecting back on the Open qualifiers.  I have an interesting perspective on the CrossFit Open.  During the 2011 Open, specifically, right after the first WOD, and before the second WOD was announced, I was diagnosed and underwent surgery for a brain tumor that turned out to be cancerous.  I never finished the 2011 Open, and, in fact, I never did anything more than the first WOD.  

A year passes…  I was out of CrossFit for a couple of months.  I underwent radiation treatments, and am still undergoing chemotherapy.  The CrossFit Open is announced, and I toss my hat in and sign up.  Not with the expectations of being a contender for the Games – I have lost so much strength, stamina, endurance and more – but with the hope of just getting through the entire Open.  I just wanted to finish the event – something I was not able to do last year.

My athlete bio on the Games site really said it all…

“It is what it is... I am blessed to be able to even sign up. But I don't have any unreal expectations as to how I might do. I just want to do the WODs, RX. And I'd like to make it past the second one. I did not fill in my numbers because the maxes and times that I have are not my current times or maxes. I don't know what my current ones are, or what I am capable of doing.”

And it started…

WOD 12.1

Complete as many reps as possible in 7 minutes of:

 Burpees

My initial thought on this one was, “Really??? Seven minutes of burpees?” I thought that so many people would end up with the same scores.  I couldn’t have been more wrong.  Seven minutes of burpees had a way of pushing people to do more than they ever thought they could do in seven minutes.  It taxed people in a way that was unexpected, and took the first cut, as previously unknowns surfaced on the Leaderboards.

So many people, doing so many burpees…  I bet Coach Burgener was cheering everyone on, all across the world, “YAY BURPEES!” 

For me, it was a relief.  I knew I could do seven minutes of burpees, and I also knew it wouldn’t be a lot.  I was on a chemotherapy regimen for this WOD.  I knew there would be at least one WOD I would be doing while taking my chemotherapy drugs.  Right out of the starting gate, 12.1 was it.

I hoped I could do 70 burpees.  I did 64.  That equated to less than 10 per minute.  But I was okay with that, because I finished the first WOD.  And I would not be on chemotherapy for another 3 weeks.  I was so happy to have finished, and was excited about 12.2.  I wanted to get further than I was able to last year.

WOD 12.2
WOMEN - includes Masters Women up to 54 years old, Proceed through the sequence below completing as many reps as possible in 10 minutes of:

45 pound Snatch, 30 reps
75 pound Snatch, 30 reps
100 pound Snatch, 30 reps
120 pound Snatch, as many reps as possible

This I knew would be challenging.  I had lost so much strength.  I knew I could snatch 45 pounds, and I could snatch 75 pounds.  I knew I used to be able to snatch 100 pounds, but was uncertain if I could do it now, and honestly did not think I could. 

The WOD had a time limit, 10 minutes.  This put a different spin on it.  Could I do 30 snatches at 45 pounds in 10 minutes?  Could I do an additional 30 at 75 pounds?  If I could get those 60 done, could I even get one at 100 pounds

As I performed the WOD, I was realizing that I was getting through the first 30.  It was time to add some weight and go to 75 pounds.  I put the weight on the bar and started snatching.  Getting through all 30, I realized that I would have time to attempt 100 pounds.  I loaded the bar, and failed once, twice, three times, and then the time ran out.

I did not underestimate my ability.  I knew that 100 pounds would be challenging for me at this point in my recovery.  I did underestimate the amount of time it took to load my own weights.  I probably could have found a handful of seconds by being more efficient at loading my weights.  But I still would not have been able to snatch the 100 pound weight.

I was happy with my result.  I kept things in perspective, something that is difficult for me to some days.  I thought it was good, for where I was in my recovery.  I finished the WOD, my first goal, and I also made it through 60 snatches.  I was already further than last year, and looking forward to the next week, when 12.3 would be revealed.

WOD 12.3
WOMEN - includes Masters Women up to 54 years old, Complete as many rounds and reps as possible in 18 minutes of:

15 Box jumps, 20" box
75 pound Push press, 12 reps
9 Toes-to-bar

This one really troubled me.  About a month before this WOD, I was doing box jumps in a WOD and slipped on the box, smashing my knee cap into the edge of the box, and leaving me with a strong fear of jumping on boxes, something I had never experienced.  There were times when I was doing 30” box jumps in WODs.  But when this was announced, I was only jumping 12-16 inches.  20” in a WOD was terrifying.  What if I fell off again?  What if I hurt myself more than the previous time?

I couldn’t think of these things…  I just needed to jump 20”, at least 15 times.  I knew I could physically do it, but mentally I was terrified.  Cancer has a way of destroying confidence.  And chemo brain doesn’t help.  I was worried I would fail before I had even started.

The day I did the WOD, I decided to warm up with smaller boxes, and increasing height until I reached 20”.  I was able to do 8”, then 12”, then 16”, then 20”.  I was ready to tackle 12.3.

The timer started and I started my box jumps.  I surprised myself by finishing the first set of jumps.  Time to move on to the push presses, then the toes-to-bars.  One round done, time to start another, time to jump on the box.  Every time I went to jump my mind processed what I was doing.  I mentally set myself up, then physically.  I mentally eyed the target, then physically.  I visualized myself jump and land, then I jumped and landed on the box.  I probably mentally jumped twice as many box jumps as I physically did.

When the 10 minutes ended, I had completed 4 full rounds, and most of the 5th.  I had jumped on the box 75 times.  I was so happy that I was able to jump on the box and finish the WOD.

I had completed 3 of the 5 WODs, making it further through the Open than I had last year.  I was very happy about that, but it was also sad.  I was constantly reminded of where I could have been if I had not gotten sick.  I wanted to be a contender for the Games…  I did.  But realistically, I knew it was not possible.  There was no way.  Doing the WODs and participating in the Open was what I wanted to do, but so was doing better than I was doing.  I would just need to be happy with where I was…  Happy that I was at least able to perform the WODs.  I asked God for the strength to persevere, and to help me count my blessings, as there were so many.

WOD 12.4
WOMEN - includes Masters Women up to 54 years old,  Complete as many rounds and reps as possible in 12 minutes of:

150 Wall balls (14lbs to 9' target)
90 Double-unders
30 Muscle-ups

I just knew that muscle-ups would show up at some point in the open.  I also knew that if they did, I would not be able to do them.  I was not getting them consistently before, so I knew there was no chance now. 

I have also been struggling with my double-unders.  My timing has been off.  I can sometimes get 15-20 or so, but many times it is 3-5 at a time.  Again, a result of all that I have been through…  surgery, radiation, and chemo.

I felt defeated before even starting this WOD.  I tried to keep it in perspective.  But it was hard, knowing how much I would struggle with the double-unders, and that even if I made it to the muscle-ups, I wouldn’t be able to do one.

So the clock started and I started my wall balls.  I felt confident with the wall balls.  I just dreaded what was coming up.  All I could think about was that I would need as much time as possible to do the double-unders, so I have to really push the wall balls.  I knew I wouldn’t get any muscle-ups, but I wanted to get the double-unders.  I wanted it badly.

I finished the wall balls, and went on to the double-unders.  I would get a couple, then miss, then get a few, then miss.  I tried to just keep going.  But the more I missed, the more upset I got.  The more upset I got, the more I missed.  I tried to keep it in perspective, but my perspective was interrupted by the rope hitting my feet, legs and hands.

Time ran out on me, before I could finish the double-unders.  I only got 35.  I tried to keep it in perspective, but again, I felt so defeated. 

WOD 12.5
WOMEN - includes Masters Women up to 54 years old

Complete as many reps as possible in 7 minutes following the rep scheme below:

65 pound Thruster, 3 reps
 3 Chest to bar Pull-ups
65 pound Thruster, 6 reps
6 Chest to bar Pull-ups
65 pound Thruster, 9 reps
 9 Chest to bar Pull-ups
65 pound Thruster, 12 reps
12 Chest to bar Pull-ups
65 pound Thruster, 15 reps
15 Chest to bar Pull-ups
65 pound Thruster, 18 reps
18 Chest to bar Pull-ups
65 pound Thruster, 21 reps
21 Chest to bar Pull-ups...
This is a timed workout. If you complete the round of 21, go on to 24. If you complete 24, go on to 27, etc.

This was the last WOD.  If I could finish this one, then I finished the Open.  My goal was to finish, and I was so close.  I had to do it, knowing full well that I would never make it to the 2012 Games, but remembering that my goal was to be able to finish the Open, and to do each WOD as prescribed.

I was excited to do it, excited to finish.  But I had just started a chemo regimen, so it was really going to be a tough one.  I was not feeling well, was not sleeping well, and just going to try to endure.

Thrusters and pull-ups…  It looks a lot like Fran, or perhaps Fran’s mean older sister.  Again, the clock started and so did I.  The first set of thrusters felt like they always do, except I only had to do 3, as opposed to the 21 prescribed in Fran.  3 felt like a vacation!  Then time for chest-to-bar pull-ups.  Again, a movement that required strength, something I had lost so much of.  I struggled getting my chest to the bar and was no-repped a couple of times during the WOD. I got the 3s done, 3 thrusters and 3 chest-to-bar pull-ups. On to the 6s.  Again I struggled on the chest-to-bar pull-ups.

7 minutes came up, and I struggled to get the last few reps in.  When all was said and done, I had completed the 3s, the 6s and the 9s, and started working on the 12s.  I did all 12 of the thrusters, and 4 of the pull-ups, almost finishing the round.

I got down on one knee and gave thanks to God, who made this possible.  I had finished the Open competition, 368 out of 725+ in my age group.  But it didn’t matter where I finished, only that I finished.  I had made my goal – I finished the Open.  And for that I am grateful.

As I look back on the Open on the day the Games begin, I think about the athletes and all they have endured.  I am so excited for them – their time has come.  Tomorrow I leave for Carson to watch in person, and to cheer them on.  If I could tell them one thing, it would be to have fun and enjoy the journey. 

Partial Range of Motion and the Death of Rock and Roll

Lately I’ve been thinking about movements. I am a stickler for full range of motion. I get pissed off when I see videos posted by CrossFitters demonstrating partial range of motion – not deep enough, not high enough, not fully extended, etc. I have previously written about being accountable, and shown how others have demonstrated accountability. We know what is expected. We know full range of motion. We know this, because it is constantly drilled into our movement standards. Why? Because it works. Full range of motion works. It’s tried and true… It accomplishes the task… It keeps us safe…

So why do we see workouts with partial range of motion movements? What is the benefit of those movements? Does it make sense to do a quarter-squat? Or half a pull up? Or a push up that doesn’t go all the way to the ground? I would agree that there may be some instances where working these partial movements might be good. But they also may be considered advanced movements. Like working the quarter-squat with a bar in the rack position, to explosively work the hip extension of the jerk, and only that hip extension. Or to do pulls off a box in order to specifically train the pull of the clean or snatch, without having to perform the pull off the ground. Working a specific part of the movement. But these are advanced techniques and advanced movements, and may not be safe for all people.

The other day, someone asked me if rock and roll in America was dead. The person who asked me this question told me to really think about it. It was posed to me during an email exchange about partial range of motion exercises. I thought it kind of funny that the question was asked, and off track from the topic. But I decided to give it some thought, and perhaps humor the person who asked. The more I thought about it, the more I realized how it tied in to the discussion of partial range of motion movements. The following was my response, after thinking about the question for many hours. Let me know… Do you agree??? Post to Comments.

I have been thinking about your rock and roll question, as I grouted the tile in the bathroom (yea, I'm pretty handy...) Below is quite a dissertation... Probably not what you expected, but... some random thoughts...

Rock and roll, as I know it, hasn't really existed in a while, perhaps since the Internet? Maybe since Kurt Cobain... I don't know when it really stopped, or died... But something changed over time...

I remember waiting anxiously for new records to come out, and buying them on the first day, and reading the liner notes of the record, like it was really something special. Listening to the radio to get the latest news on the bands, that only the radio could bring, because there was not the Internet, and MTV was infantile (I didn't have access for a really long time, while my friends did).

To me, rock and roll was the records, and the music on them. It was going to the concerts and seeing the bands, and getting the latest information on the radio. When CDs came out, they changed the landscape a bit, but not the way the Internet did. You still had to go to a record store to buy a CD, and the CDs still had liner notes, and sometimes extra songs. But the sound changed a little too. Digital is different. It just is...

And with digital, music started to change. It became over produced, lost its edge, became easy to replicate. The music that came out of the Seattle area tried to stay true to what rock and roll was supposed to be -- about the music, musicians and bands. Then Kurt Cobain died, and it seems music took another turn. While there are still some "bands" making music, it became very different. It lost some originality.

I don't think people look forward to buying what we would call a record (CD, mp3, whatever it would be called). There are no liner notes on the Internet, and people can buy one song at a time. It was always kind of cool listening to entire albums and having favorite songs... Now that doesn't really happen. "Artists" will release only one song at a time, and you have no choice what to listen to, because that is all there is... People don't have the experience of discovering a "new records" by their favorite band... If it is truly a band... or a musician...

Musicians and bands these days rarely play their own instruments. Music is sampled, not original. "Artists" lip sync to tracks, fooling their audiences. In Japan, there is a hologram singer. A band backs her up. But she is not real. And she sells out concerts, and fans love her. She is not real. Music has become "not real". It is unoriginal, and regurgitated. Perhaps Rock and roll has just become fast food music -- quick, easy, marketable, cheap, and accessible.

But, as you might imagine, that would not be my definition of rock and roll. I would love to take the chance and buy a new recording by a band that plays their own instruments and sings their own songs. Who has not sold their music to some retail chain or restaurant to earn a quick buck. I would love it if that band toured and I had a chance to see them perform live, without lip syncing, or playing to a track. So, I guess you could say that to me... Rock and roll died a while ago... And I continue to try to find new things that are interesting and worthy of an online purchase... Bands that play their own instruments, write their own songs, and tour... They are few and far between, so I take what I can...

So back to the squatting... and partial range of motion movements for strength... In a way, it's like rock and roll. The squat is the traditional movement -- reliable. You know it will build strength, and has proven to do so for years and years... And along comes someone with the thought of doing partial range of motion squats -- if 1 squat is great, partials must be better... Like sampling music, regurgitating music. The problem is, partials are not the same. It is not true to the original intent. It's someone regurgitation for potential convenience, promising quicker results. It is fast food and modern music all in one. I think I'd rather have my squats, rock and roll, and Paleo...

Looking forward to 30 body weight, rock and roll squats this week.

(note that this was written prior to the 50 body weight back squat challenge, hence the reference to 30 body weight back squats)

So, what do you think? Is rock and roll in America dead?

Post to comments.

2011 Goals

It’s the end of the year, and with the end of the year, comes the beginning of a new year. A chance to start anew. Everyone will be setting goals. Some easily achievable, some achievable with focused effort, and some a little too lofty. I have personal goals, work goals, and CrossFit goals.

I’ve spent some time thinking about my CrossFit goals, what they should be. Should they be easily attainable? Should they require effort? How much? Should they be all about me?

I think that it’s important when setting goals, to ensure that they are achievable. It wouldn’t be good, for example, for me to set a goal of power cleaning a car. It will never happen. Or competing in the Olympics. Also, not going to happen. Or even skydiving… NOT going to happen! So if you set goals, ensure they are attainable ones, even with effort. Something that you know you could achieve, with the right investment of effort. And, if you set them, commit to work towards them.

Here are my 10 CrossFit goals for 2011, in no particular order. By writing them down and posting them, I am commiting to them. I will work towards achieving them. Some are easily achievable, some will require some focused effort, and some might be a bit lofty. Some I may not make. And some I may get within the first week.

1. Consistent and multiple muscle ups
2. Butterfly pull ups
3. 10 HSPUs in a row
4. Body weight clean and jerk
5. 100 double unders in a row
6. Sub-4 Fran
7. Eliminate my horrible work out face
8. Blog at least once a month, but aim for two times
9. Help someone else achieve a goal
10. Learn a new skill – TBD

Have you set yours?

Post to Comments

You Compare Yourself to Who???

In CrossFit, we are constantly comparing ourselves to others. We have benchmark workouts, we post results on public web sites, and we have PRs. We compare how we do, to how others do, to see how we rank – Beyond the White Board automatically ranks you against others. We wonder, “Am I as good as him? Am I as good as her? Could I have beaten the best?”

I completely agree with what Andy Petranek, of CrossFit LA recently posted:

One of the things that makes us different is the way we constantly compare ourselves to others who do CrossFit. We have leaderboards. We keep score. We post results of workouts up on whiteboards. We do this to create context for training, so that we all have a framework within which our training can exist... goals, expectations of performance, belief of what is possible, etc. Comparisons are good - as long as they are NOT used to make you feel bad about what you are doing... remember, the competition, 99% of the time, is just with yourself!

Wait, what was that??? “…Comparisons are good – as long as they are NOT used to make you feel bad about what you are doing… the competition, 99% of the time, is just with yourself!” Let me expand on that… You should never feel bad about any CrossFit workout, no matter how you compare to others. It is NOT about the comparison to others, it is about how you did, at that given moment in time, for that workout, at that hour of the day, during that temperature, with those people, on that amount of rest, and that amount of fuel, etc. That given moment in time. Did you do your best? Did you leave nothing behind? Did you leave nothing behind?

A while back I blogged about Going After the Big Dog. It was a post about motivation – something that motivates me. There is a definite difference between going after the big dog, and comparing yourself to others via leaderboards. Going after the big dog should motivate you to do better, make you push yourself further than you thought you could go. To challenge you. To motivate you. To help you better compete against yourself.

Every person is different, and every experience is different. It is not appropriate to compare yourself to anyone other than yourself, because you are NOT that other person. You do not have their experiences, their strengths, their weaknesses. We are all put together differently, made up differently, which means that our abilities are different. The only person you should compare yourself to is yourself. And in doing so, you will find that you will sometimes do better, and sometimes do worse than you previously did. It is the nature of CrossFit. It is, what it is, at that exact moment in time, and each moment is going to be different.

So don’t feel bad about what you are doing. Don’t feel bad about your performance. In CrossFit, no matter what your level or ability, your capabilities, at that given moment in time, for that workout, at that hour of the day, during that temperature, with those people, on that amount of rest, and that amount of fuel, you are doing things that most people cannot do. You are doing things that most people cannot do.

Post thoughts to Comments.

Age Is Just A Number

I am 45 years old. I don’t start today’s posting with this as a way to gain sympathy, although a little every now and again is kind of nice… I start today’s post to help keep things in perspective.

I have been called an athlete, which I thought was interesting, if not funny… I guess I don’t think of myself as the athletic type… I have never competed in any sport. I train in CrossFit, and I compete with myself, to be better, stronger, faster, etc. All the pillars of CrossFit… And I occasionally chase the “big dog”… Until this past weekend.

This past weekend I competed in the San Diego/Arizona Sectionals for CrossFit. I was one of about 40 women who competed. The top 20 women would move on to the Regional competition. I felt I had a fairly good chance of moving on, the odds were good, but I didn’t want to be cocky about it. I trained hard to prepare, and during the Sectional workouts, I pushed myself hard. Could I have trained harder? Yes. Could I have pushed myself harder? Sure. Isn’t that always the case? But I had a 50/50 chance, so the odds were even. Exactly.

But what I experienced this past weekend, and what I saw this past weekend, is nearly beyond explanation and comprehension.

I saw a man overcome physical limitations and compete as if he had none. He finished 147 double-unders with a prosthetic leg. I saw frustration in a woman, as she tried her hardest to finish the same WO, even though she could not do what was being asked, and eventually ran out of time. She did not give up. Time gave up on her. I saw a community of CrossFitters come together to cheer on the man who just wanted to finish the WO, regardless of his place in the competition. I saw people cheer and support athletes they did not even know. I saw the respect and admiration for the athletes who were in the top contenders, and I saw the respect and admiration for the athletes who just did.

I saw struggles, hardships, victories, support, honor, strength and camaraderie. I saw athletes of all sizes, shapes and colors, bound together by one thing, the desire to do more, faster and better, and an ultimate love for CrossFit and the CrossFit community.

It does not matter what your limitations may be. Limitations are self-imposed. In this community, the CrossFit community, all that matters is that you try. That you attempt, and that you persevere. That you give your best each time, knowing that your best is for that specific moment – whether a daily WOD or a competition. That you are competing against you own self imposed limitations, not any real limitations.

I am 45 years old, it is a biological limitation. It will not be a self-imposed limitation. I am 45 years old, and age is just a number.

Congratulations to all the athletes who competed in the San Diego/Arizona Sectionals.

Check out the clip from Day 1! WMV MOV

Comments??? Please post.

Training the Handstand Push-up

I’m going to start with two caveats… First, this is not my training regimen. It was given to me, as I am passing on to you (Thanks to Jennifer Roberts!!!). Second, I am not an expert at this. This is just what has worked for me. It may or may not work for you.

When I knew I needed to learn how to do a hspu, my biggest fear was not the push-up itself, but being upside down. How would I get in that position? How would I handle it? What if I passed out? These were honest concerns that I had. I had some people that helped me get over that fear so that I could actually work on the hspu itself, without working on the fear.

Once over the fear, the training of the hspu was very exact and easy to follow. I had a goal of being able to do 5 consecutive hspus in a row, in 6 weeks. 6 weeks is in about 10 days or so, and I think I will achieve it. So, here it is…

Train the hspu every other day, alternating between the following WOs:

Workout 1
Handstand holds: Go into a handstand position against the wall and hold it for a 1 minute interval. Repeat 5 times. Rest as needed in between holds (but not all day – usually no more than a few minutes – it is a workout…). If you can’t do a minute, do as long as you possibly can for each interval, increasing the amount of time you are able to hold until you can hold for a minute.

These are tough. It is difficult to hold for a minute. Engage your core, engage your shoulders. Press it up – hard. Do not collapse through the spine. Core engagement is important as it stabilizes your spine and makes your shoulders work less.

Workout 2
Handstand negatives: These are strength building movements. They are done in 5 sets of 5, or 5X5. Go up into a handstand position against the wall and slowly lower yourself to the ground (you may want to do this on a rug or blanket). As soon as you get to the ground, kick back up to the handstand position and do it again, until you have done 5 reps. Complete 5 sets of 5 reps, resting as needed between sets. Remember, it is a strength building exercise. You rest as you would if it were back squats, push presses, or any other strength WO you might be doing (not hours of rest, but minutes).

The focus here is lowering yourself as slowly as possible and in a controlled manner. If it is difficult to lower yourself slowly all the way down (you’re banging your head on the ground too much), then start these with an ab mat, so the distance is less. Until you can perform without an ab mat.

In Addition
Each time I did one of the WOs above, I also did sets of hspus with an ab mat. I started out with one ab mat with a book under it, then went to just the ab mat, then a small book, then nothing. While the two exercises above are really great at building strength, I believe it is still important to work on the actual down-up movement. I usually did hspus after the above WOs, and did as many as I could, until I failed. Set, after set. Sometimes it would just be a few short sets, sometimes I could do a dozen reps, and then 8, then 5, then 2, then fail. It all depended on the other WOs I did throughout the week. If I did a lot of upper body/shoulder WOs with heavy weights, then I would struggle with the hspus. Some days the hspus felt great, sometimes they were really difficult. Good days and bad days… All good for training.

Training for Consecutives
To get my consecutive hspus, I just did singles and work on stringing them together, until failure. I did 3 in a row a week ago. When I start failing with the unassisted hspus, I then do negatives, so I still receive the benefits and the strength training.

More Stuff
WODs are a bit different, as there are other factors at play. You are moving fast, doing multiple movements. Sometimes the strength cannot be found. Right now, during a WO, if hspus are present, I use 1 ab mat. A month ago I was using 2 ab mats and barely finishing. Now I use 1, and do a better job. Soon I will no longer need an ab mat.

Another benefit of training the hspu… greater shoulder strength for push presses. Yesterday I PRd my push press at 140. My 5 rep was 125, 3 rep was 135, and I was trying for 140 when I failed on my third rep. So I did 2 at 140#. I have been holding at 127# for push presses for months, and now, since training my hspus, I was able to push past this stagnant point, PRing the 5-rep, 3-rep, and 2-rep.

This is what has worked for me. You can see if it works for you. Or maybe you have something else that works? Let me know, either way…

In Pursuit of Rest

Why, as a CrossFitter, do I struggle so much with the concept of a “rest day”? CrossFit.com prescribes 3 on, 1 off for a workout regimen. That is, 3 workout days followed by one rest day. CrossFit Phoenix does 2 on, 1 off. I have heard of some places doing 5 on, 2 off. Rest is important, it is prescribed. So, if it is important, why is it so difficult to follow the prescription?

I tend to try to follow the 2 on, 1 off regimen. However, on at least one of the “off” days, I do a workout. Sometimes both “off” days… And sometime on the “on’ days I do a workout in the morning, and a workout in the afternoon, a double. Why do I feel the need to do so much?

Is it the adrenalin? The rush of the metcon or heavy weight? Or the ability to do something that not many women can do? Am I addicted to the endorphins?

I have been teaching fitness classes for 10 years. I know that the body needs rest. I know about overtraining. I have experienced it before. Overtraining occurs when you train beyond your body’s ability to recover. When you exercise longer and harder so you can improve, without adequate rest and recovery, the training regimens backfire, and actually decrease performance. Overtraining…

So, if I know about it, why do I have a difficult time with the rest day? You would think that I would rest, as prescribed. You would think… But I struggle with it, and really only rest occasionally.

Today is a rest day after 8 days “on”. And I swear… I will rest today.

Bermuda Triangle for Boobs???

No one ever told me that my boobs would disappear. When I started doing CrossFit, working out, eating better, no one ever said, “Hey, your boobs might mysteriously vanish.” I was not clued in.

And it’s not like it didn't happen over time, because it did. It happened over the course of almost two years. But for some reason, it feels like it happened over night. One day they were there and the next day they were gone. One day I had quite a handful... Now??? My sports bras barely have enough to hold on to! Darn! Where’d they go!!!

Did they vanish into the Bermuda Triangle for boobs? Is there such a place?? I figured that there must be, because I don’t know where they went. And it’s not like I had this receding boob line, that I could follow the disappearance of the boobies a week at a time, and mark where they were the week before. I swear, it happened over night.

So I wanted to understand it better, and I found this nifty article on decreasing your breast size through exercise. The motherload!!! So, how would one do that, without expecting it? The article says, “Not every woman that desires a smaller bust will want to go through breast-reduction surgery. Instead, you can perform sets of exercises that can reduce the fat that make up your breasts. Not only are you likely to decrease your bust size, but you might lose weight in other areas of your body.”

Hmmm. Exercises that reduce the fat that makes up your breasts... The article says to start with some cardio workouts and then increase the intensity of your cardio exercises. It goes on to recommend that push-ups are done every day, and weights should be used for chest presses.

Another article says, “Remember that breasts, for the most part, are made up of fatty tissue. Exercising can lead to fat loss, which in turn leads to smaller boobs. Exercise can also tone up the pectoral muscle, helping to lift and define the breasts.”

Lots of things surrounding push ups and chest presses, not to mention cardio -- exercise. WOW, CrossFit fits the bill there. CrossFit is the culprit! I never would have thought that!

I can only begin to fathom how many push-ups I have done in the past two years – how much cardio activity I have done. Have I been methodically making my boobs disappear without knowing it? Did I do this to myself? Is CrossFit the culprit?

Ladies??? Help me understand! Is this something you experienced? Are experiencing? Has CrossFit, or exercise in general, reduced your boobage???

Intentional Metamorphosis

Wikipedia defines metamorphosis as “…a biological process by which an animal physically develops after birth or hatching, involving a conspicuous and relatively abrupt change in the animal's body structure through cell growth and differentiation.” Answers.com says metamorphosis is “a marked change in appearance, character, condition, or function.” Metamorphosis is change.

Change is inevitable – nothing ever stays the same. Whether acted upon by some outside force, or an intentional decision, change occurs. It is inevitable. But what if change was intentional? Could you intentionally drive the change? Force the course of the abrupt change in the animal’s body structure? Or your body structure? Or your capabilities? Could you control the direction of the change? Thereby controlling the outcome, results, endgame?

I am on a quest. A quest for change. Purposeful change. Intentional metamorphosis. I am changing the way I look, the way I feel, the way I perform. Day by day, step by step, workout by workout, meal by meal, rep by rep. Forcing change to occur. It is an intentional decision. I am purposefully changing. I am going through intentional metamorphosis.

How? Pushing harder. Eating better. Not giving in. Not sacrificing. Performing the one more minute, one more round, one more rep, until I can yell out “TIME!”, with the knowing that I have performed my best at that given moment.

Why? To be better. To feel better. To be stronger. To be able to perform under diverse conditions. To be healthy. To be fit. To be CrossFit.

I Remember...

Today is always a difficult day for me. Not Friday, but the date – 9/11.

So many people were impacted by what happened 8 years ago on this date. For me, it could have been so much worse. Every time 9/11 comes around, I think of how much worse it could have been. And while I am thankful that is wasn’t, I am deeply saddened by the losses that others experienced.

My sister worked at the World Trade Center, on one of the floors above where the planes hit. She was supposed to start work at 9am. She was late on 9/11. Just late enough to be alive. She would take the subway to work, and exit the stop before WTC. She would walk the last block to work. On 9/11 she exited the subway, as usual, and was greeted by the chaos that was occurring. The first plane had already flown into the first tower. She made the decision to jump back on the subway, not thinking that the next stop was WTC. The doors opened up and she was there at what is now ground zero. She did not exit, but continued on to the next stop, where she did exit – just as the second plane hit the second tower. She ran for her life.

She lost co-workers and friends, but did not lose her life. And for this, I am eternally grateful.

On this date, I am remembering all those who lost their lives. Those at WTC, those at the Pentagon, those in Pennsylvania, and those in the military. I am grateful to all of those who serve our country, from the fire and police personnel who risk their lives to help others, to the military, who fight for the freedoms we sometimes take for granted.

Why am I going on and on about this? What does it have to do with fitness?

Sometimes we all need a little inspiration – something to push us a little harder. Today my inspiration is one of remembrance and gratefulness. When I workout today, I will do so for those who died on this date 8 years ago, and those who continue to fight for our freedoms. I remember.

Broken, But Not Broken Down

How do you handle a workout, or a situation for that matter, that is more than you expected? More difficult? More mentally challenging? More painful? Do you get angry? Frustrated? Overwhelmed? More importantly, how do you handle yourself afterwards? Do you walk away, never to return? Do you feel shameful? Do you quit?

We are all challenged with workouts that push us to our limits – to our breaking points – to the point where we feel… broken. We go through the gamut of emotions – anger, frustration, embarrassment, shame, maybe even loss and sorrow. But how do you handle your emotions? Or maybe the better question is, do you handle your emotions or do your emotions handle you?

Everyone has a choice. You have a choice, I have a choice, and we all have choices. And we determine or choose how we handle our emotions during that workout that is more than we expected -- during that moment in time. We also choose how we handle our emotions after that workout. So the workout can break you, or me, or us, but did the workout break us down??? That is our choice. Our decision.

Last Friday’s workout broke me. It was a reality check of the most “in your face” type. “Stand up Linda” broke me. But she did not break me down.

Reality… I was not able to do prescribed weights. My hands were torn. I DID NOT FINISH. I have never not finished a workout. I was frustrated. I was upset. I was embarrassed. I was shamed. I was broken. But I could not walk away, and I could not quit. Because amidst all those emotions, I made a choice to not be broken down. “Stand up Linda” broke me. But she did not break me down.

Reality… It was one workout, one day, one moment in time. And one day I will meet “Stand up Linda” again, and I will be able to do more weight, I will not tear my hands, and I WILL FINISH. I will one day get LINDA off my back! And I will be stronger for it. I am not broken down.

Thanks to CrossFit Phoenix for pushing me to my limit so that I could see what could be possible. Looking forward to the next time that chick “Linda” comes knocking.

"Stand up Linda"

10-9-8-7-6-5-4-3-2-1 reps of:

1.5x bodyweight deadlift
3/4 bodyweight push press
3/4 bodyweight squat clean

Running the Ragnar Relay del Sol

Some time ago, my friend Jill asked me to join her running team for the Ragnar Relay. Knowing nothing about the race, I looked it up and found out the following:

You and 11 of your closest friends running day and night, relay-style, through some of the most scenic terrain North America could muster. Add in live bands, inside jokes and a mild case of sleep deprivation. The result? Some call it a slumber party without sleep, pillows or deodorant. We call it a Ragnar Relay…

I quickly, and easily, said “No thanks Jill, it’s not my cup of tea.”

I’m not a committed runner. I started running in January of 2008. My goal was to participate in Emma’s Run, a 5K race taking place in Anthem. I had no intention to continue running after Emma’s Run, but I found out I enjoyed the metabolism boost running provided, especially after performing high-intensity workouts. So I kept running as part of my fitness routine. Short runs… That still did not make me a committed runner.

A couple of months later, Jill asked me again to join her Ragnar Relay team. Someone had dropped out and they needed another runner. Again my answer was “no, I am not a runner”. A few weeks later the question came again, with the same answer, and a few weeks later and one more time I said no.

Maybe Jill caught me on a good day when I finally said “Yes”. Maybe I was tired of getting asked. Maybe I didn’t think it would ever really happen. I don’t really remember. All I know is that one day, in the Fall of 2008, I committed to being on Jill’s team.

The Ragnar Relay Del Sol

Now that I was committed, I needed more information. What was it about? How did it work? What should I expect??? The Ragnar website gave me more information:

“It's really quite simple. Get a bunch of friends together (or we can help you find team members who'll quickly become your friends) and start running. Okay, there's a little more to it. Your relay team will consist of 12 members. During the relay, each team member runs three legs, each leg ranging between 3 - 8 miles and varying in difficulty. So, from the elite runner down to the novice jogger, it's the perfect relay race for anyone.

Each team is responsible for providing two support vehicles, with six runners in each
vehicle. The first vehicle will drop off the first runner, drive ahead a few miles, cheer the runner on, and provide them with water, snacks, and plenty of love. That vehicle will then drive ahead to the first exchange point to drop off the second runner, and pick up the first runner when that leg is complete. They will repeat this pattern for six legs until they hand off to their second vehicle. This leapfrogging pattern will continue all the way to the finish line.”

Our twelve person team split into two groups of six; one group in each vehicle. Many of the teams decorated their vehicles and all had some sort of writing or slogan on them. During the race there were five people in the van while one person ran. It was the team’s responsibility to support the runner. The people in the vehicle had to provide water, snacks, and lots of good cheer for each runner.

There were major and minor runner exchange points along the route. The major exchanges were where Van 1 handed off to Van 2 or vice versa. During minor exchanges only the runners from the same vehicle changed out. Each minor exchange point had a team of volunteers and porta-potties to keep the race on track. The major exchange points had more volunteers, porta-potties, usually some food, music, rest spots to refresh prior to their next leg of the race.

Our team, We’ve Got the Runs, was team #93. We started at 8am. Team start times were staged based on runners’ ability level. We were considered a novice team (12 people, not very experienced). Ultra teams were formed with only six and had the pleasure of running double the distance per person than the novices. The ultras had my admiration. I really don’t know how anyone could run double legs in the race.

The Ragnar Relay del Sol’s 202.1 mile course began at Prescott, AZ and finished in Mesa, AZ. It wound down 2-lane highways, secondary roads, dirt roads, and across freeways. There were times when there was no cell phone service, and times when there were so many cars in the way that runners had to use crosswalks and signals in order to cross. There were times when the only thing you saw was a cow in a field, and other times that cars sped by so quickly you wondered if you’d end up road kill. And there were also times that were serene, but surreal – where the only things you could see were illuminated 10 feet in front of you by a headlamp, or the distant city lights and stars miles away.

The Race

Van 1 started the race in Prescott, AZ on February 27 at 8am. It was 40 degrees and 5000 feet in elevation. Runners 1-6 took their first runs and ended in Kirkland, at 3500 feet. My vehicle, Van 2, picked up the charge around 12:30pm in Kirkland. Our initial leg was 39 miles, I was responsible for 5.5 miles.

Van 2’s running legs were broken down as follows:

The degree of difficulty was determined by the length and elevation change of the route. The longer the route and the more hills increased the level of difficulty.

My first leg had several hills, and was a moderate length. The team was fresh, our legs were strong, and our energy level was high, with adrenaline flowing from the excitement. We each seemed to run our legs quickly. We supported each other with water, spray bottles and lots of cheering. As Michael took over on the last leg of this set of runs, night started to set in. Michael was our first runner to break out after dark running with a headlamp, reflective vest, and back light, which were required in order to run at night, or we would face disqualification. We handed off to Van 1 around 7:30 pm, after being on the road for 7 hours and 39 miles.

Van 1 ran for the next 34 miles. While they were running, we rested at a little elementary school in Morristown, just east of Wickenburg. The school fed us spaghetti, and we rolled out sleeping bags on the multipurpose room floor and tried to get a few hours of rest. At 12am we received the call that Van 1’s last runner had just hit the pavement and they would be at the school around 12:30. We got up, packed our gear and prepared for the night run.

Van 1 handed off to us in Morristown around 12:30am on February 28. We were scheduled to run the rest of the night and hand back off to Van 1 around 8:30am. Our second leg was 42 miles, of which I was responsible for 8.8 miles. The Van 2 runners and legs were broken down as follows:

The second leg was the one that worried me the most. It was dark out, the route was very long and was mostly up a slight hill on Carefree Highway, just west of Lake Pleasant. I started this leg exhausted, but finished feeling terrific. The run in the middle of the night brought me a certain amount of focus that I have never achieved. The road in front of me was only illuminated by my headlamp. All I saw was what was right in front of me or the city lights and stars off in the distance. The van leapfrogged me, so I was never alone, and I occasionally saw other runners. It was cool, but not unbearably cold. The leg that I feared the most turned out to be my favorite, the experience that I now compare all runs to.

The van support continued through the night. We were exhausted from not sleeping, and also cold. There was a time in the middle of the night when we were all bundled up in the back of the vehicle trying to stay warm, trying to rest, and trying not to come unglued. Every time we came up to our runner Tara would roll down the window and yell “Woohoo!!!” This became our mantra. No matter how tired we were, we could at least get out a slap-happy, semi-conscious, “Woohoo!” Ironically, the runners didn’t hear most of the “Woohoos!!” because we all wore headphones as we ran. We handed off to Van 1 around 8:30 am on February 28 after 8 hours, 42 miles and dozens of “Woohoos!!”.

Van 1 had the run for the next 33 miles. As they ran, we rested, this time at someone’s house. We had spaghetti for breakfast, and it really hit the spot We took showers, some of us slept, some tried to sleep, and some soaked feet and just relaxed. At 11:30am we got ready to head out for our last leg of the relay. We drove about an hour, leaving most of our belongings at the rest house knowing that we would be back to pick them up and head home. The vehicle had more room, yet it seemed more crowded as we sprawled into each other’s “space”.

We arrived in Fountain Hills early and used the time to stock up on sun screen and coffee at the local market. The temperature was considerably warmer, about 85 degrees and there was not much of a breeze. This was not going to be an easy set of legs. For most of our runners, the third leg was a shorter leg. For one, it was the longest. We were tired, hot and felt the need for a miracle.

Van 1 handed off to us in Fountain Hills around 1:00pm on February 28. It was our job to finish the race. The final leg was 24 miles. I was responsible for a short 2.9 miles, however, I thought I was only running 2.2 miles. My distance changed and I didn’t know. Van 2’s individual legs were broken down as follows:

I thought this leg would be a piece of cake, “it’s only 2.2 miles – that’s easy”. About a mile into the run the heat was beating me down. At 2 miles I was looking for the next exchange, wondering where it was. I kept wondering why I was now running further than 2.2 miles. I finally came around a corner and saw the exchange at 3 miles. The leg I thought would be the easiest was the most difficult. The shortest run became the most difficult to complete. I was challenged both physically and mentally as I kept pushing on to the next exchange. I was ecstatic when I finally handed off to Jill.

Jill’s leg was the most difficult. She ran on Beeline Highway and we had a very hard time supporting her throughout the run. It was hot, the cars were racing by, and the bugs were thick. There was plenty of road kill, and not enough sun screen. Jill handed off to Jodi and it was at this point that we discovered that we could take a towel and put it in our cooler of ice and give the wet, ice cold towel to our runner. Jodi, Alisa and Michael all were fortunate enough to have an ice cold soaked towel during parts of their run.

At the finish line, Michael was going to bring us in. We parked and Van 1 joined us. Then together we all walked up to the finish line to wait for Michael. Our plan was to all run to the finish as a team, and cross at the same time. Michael came running in and we followed behind him. We ran the last 100 yards together, cheering the entire way. Our team of 12 crossed the finish line, received our medals, and gave each other high-fives. This was truly an accomplishment, something that we all experienced and completed together.

People ask me what it was like, how would I describe the experience. My response has been that it felt like a three day road trip that lasted only 33 hours. You run a little, then rest a little, all of it taking about 11 hours each round, or “day”. You spend the entire time with people that you may or may not know, however, over the course of the run, you really get to know each other well, maybe too well in some cases. You share in each other’s triumphs and struggles, and you learn not to sweat the small things, and find joy in the littlest of successes.

In my 12 person team I only knew one person at the beginning of the race. Over the course of 33 hours I was fortunate enough to know the five others I shared the drive with very well.

Count me in for the next Ragnar Relay – February 26-27, 2010!

Lauriel Luther is a certified group fitness instructor at Anthem Golf & Country Club and Level 1 CrossFit instructor.

http://www.ragnarrelay.com/

Workout Motivation?

What motivates you to try harder during a workout? To push yourself when you don't think you can go any further? To do that one more minute, one more round, one more rep?

Is it mind over matter when physical exhaustion sets in? Does the workout go from a physical one to a mental one? Sometimes that is all it takes -- the mind to take over and push for that last minute, that last rep. If the mind can make the body continue, how much longer could you continue? Could you continue until the muscles fail when the mind tells them to work? When they fail, could they rest for a brief moment, and could the mind tell them to work again, and would they respond? The mind is a powerful thing -- can you condition your mind to help you achieve better results? THINK about it.

Is it peer pressure? When you are working out with others, do you feel the need to continue, even when your body tells you otherwise? Seeing others continue, in the face of similar obstacles, can motivate you to continue, to do what they may do effortlessly. When they get that one more round, it motivates you to get it too, to keep up. We always want to keep up, compare our efforts to others, whether it is weights, reps, time, etc. Working out with others makes that comparison easier. The results are real-time, instantaneous.

What motivates you?

Is in an internal desire to be the best? Do you want to win? Be successful? Do you find inner satisfaction knowing that you did your best? That feeling of, "I did it, excellently". It's that internal flame of achievement that tells you to do the best, be the best, be or do better than last time. It is more than the sense of accomplishment, although accomplishment is achieved. It is the sense of satisfaction or success when you know you have done what you set out to do. You set a goal for yourself, and surpassed that goal. You continually raise the bar on your goals so that you can be better. In your mind, you must continually reach that ever-raising bar, and in doing so, you are satisfied.

Is it a survival instinct? The natural instinct to persevere against all obstacles, animalistic, primal. You may not even know that it is happening -- it just happens. Something is keeping your body going when everything says to stop. Something intrinsic only in nature. People have been able to survive when facing unbelievable obstacles -- deathly experiences. They survive. How?? Has a workout ever been so difficult, that it became survival? Or did it really just feel that way??

What motivates you???

Rough Hands

My hands are rough. There was a time they were soft and smooth, but not any longer. At one time in my life, people told me that I could be a hand model. But not any longer... At one time, my hands were almost graceful, beautiful. But not any longer...

My hands are rough. I use them daily, in ways most people don't. I train, I lift weights, I hold heavy objects. The knurling of the Olympic bars has caused calluses to form, tear, and reform. The work I do on the pull up bar has caused calluses to form, tear, and reform. I sand the calluses down, but they still tear and reform. And they hurt sometimes. And they bleed sometimes. But I continue... Because I need the calluses to be strong -- I need my hands to be strong.

My hands are rough. I train hard and my hands pay the price. My hands are strong, they do what I ask them to do -- what most people can't do. My hands are constantly remodeling, losing calluses and forming new ones -- their own artistic performance, one blister, one tear, one callus at a time. My hands are beautiful.

Motivation

There are many things that motivate me. My desire to constantly do better, be better -- in many ways (performance, with my family, my job, etc.) -- to develop that mental toughness that surmounts obstacles, achieves results and succeeds in the given situation.

This, along with an understanding of no matter how horrible, difficult, miserable (pick your negative adjective) things can be, they can always be worse, and they are worse for many people.

And as horrible as things can sometimes be for me, there is almost always a silver lining, or an end in sight. One more minute, one more round, one more rep... TIME!

There is also nothing like a good, inspirational article from AgainFaster:

http://www.againfaster.com/articles/from-the-archives-dedication.html
http://www.againfaster.com/articles/you-are-beautiful.html
http://www.againfaster.com/articles/youll-be-fine.html
http://www.againfaster.com/articles/fortitude.html

The list could go on, but I think you get it...