My New WOD

The WOD I have been doing is not one that is an AMRAP, or has a specific time component, or is about an amount of weight. It doesn't take the strength required to lift something heavy, or do as many reps as possible, or even do a series of exercises in the fastest time possible.

This WOD requires a different kind of strength. This WOD has required mental toughness, perseverance, trust, and the ability to deal with the unknown. It is a strength that comes from within. And sometimes borrowed from the strength of others. Those who have reached out to me with their love and kindness have helped me be stronger. And their strength has helped me fight harder.

In reality, it is not really even a WOD – Workout of the Day. This is more of a Workout of Unknown and Unknowable – A WUU, if you will. Interestingly enough, that is what CrossFit prepares us for, the unknown and the unknowable.

CrossFit trains us in cardiovascular and respiratory endurance, stamina, strength, flexibility, power, speed, coordination, agility, balance, and accuracy, all so we can be prepared for the unknown and the unknowable. I have had to rely on all of these elements to tackle this WUU.

Cardiovascular and Respiratory Endurance and Stamina
These kind of go together for me. I have had to endure many things that some may find frightening. They have been scary to me as well. There have been many hospital visits, many needle pricks for a multitude of things, a surgery, radiation, lots of medications, and the side effects of it all. Through this I have had to have the stamina to endure. What else would I do? I thank God for CrossFit to teach me about stamina and endurance. About pushing through when the going gets tough.

Strength
Going into this WUU, I was strong. I could lift heavy things, and move them around. But strength, as we learn in CrossFit, may not necessarily be about moving heavy objects. It may also be about inner strength. The inner strength needed to push through when a WOD is beating you up and you have the strength to fight back. This is a strength that comes from within, and is not about muscle. It is when you reach down inside and come up with that extra push needed to finish. For me, it is the inner strength to endure the unknown (i.e., how much longer will I feel this way, will this make me feel better or worse?) and to have the stamina to push through when I am struggling (i.e., how many more radiation treatments? writing everything down because of short-term memory loss).

Flexibility
CrossFit makes us flexible enough to squat deeply with heavy objects overhead, and just be able to squat in general. We are also flexible enough to dead lift heavy objects off the ground. This is flexibility in terms of body mechanics. But there is also a different type of flexibility that CrossFit prepares us for. It is, again, a mental flexibility. We go into WODs without knowing what we are walking into. The WODs may not be posted. We must be flexible enough to handle what is put before, whether is what we want to do that day or not.

For my WUU, it is the same. I have had to be flexible enough to handle what has been put before me, without knowing what it. This is in terms of treatments, doctors’ appointments, nutrition, and inability to do the things I was previously able to do.

Power
CrossFit teaches us about power – how far we can move an object and at what speed. Some movements even have “power” in their titles (power clean, power snatch). But there is also the mental side of power – the mind over matter power. This is the ability to think about something, and, thus make it happen. In WODs, this might be that extra push at the end of a WOD, or that extra push to get a PR. My WUU also has power. I have had to have mind over matter power, especially during my treatments. When they became difficult to bear, I had to power my way through them. I needed that extra mental push to get to the finish line.

Speed
This is an easy one for CrossFit. It is about how fast you can go, and training to be faster. For my WUU it is not much different. Daily, I try to get normal things completed more quickly. And when I say normal, I truly mean normal. Things like grocery shopping, getting dressed and folding laundry. Normal things that I had become slow at, I am now focusing on becoming faster at. Or perhaps I should just say, “normal” at. It is a different kind of speed, but speed nonetheless.

Coordination
Many of the CrossFit movements require us to be coordinated. Improvements in coordination come through practice. WODs are designed to aid in the improvement of coordination – the practice of coordination. My WUU is constantly aiding in the improvement of my coordination. After treatments my coordination deteriorated. Day by day, I have been challenged to have coordination for very basic things. Things that many may not think of as needing coordination. Things like shaving my legs, changing a light bulb, slicing an avocado, typing, and of course, driving. I have had to work on improving my coordination, so these very basic things start to feel second nature, as they did prior to surgery. My WUU is helping me improve my coordination.

Agility
CrossFit helps us develop our agility. Whether it is in a movement, such as a double under, or just being agile enough to move from one movement to another, we train to become more agile. Over time, my WUU has been improving my agility. As in coordination, it is not the agility that I have been accustomed to, but more the basic things that most people can do without thinking. My agility has diminished, so I have had to retrain it for day to day life. I have had to use agility to cook food without burning it, to do the dishes, to put away groceries, to type on the computer, and, of course, to drive a car. Thank goodness that CrossFit has taught me to train this element.

Balance
Another item that must be trained, balance most is evident in the CrossFit gymnastics movements. WODS that have handstand pushups or ring dips require balance (i.e.). My WUU has also required balance. Not only in day to day activities, but mental balance as well. I have had to redevelop my balance. Whether walking down stairs, grocery shopping, or, again, shaving my legs, I have had to relearn and train my balance. Additionally, I have had to mentally balance my day to day medication regimen, and coordinate it with my day to day appointments. A true balancing act…

Accuracy
CrossFit has also trained our accuracy. Whether throwing a medicine ball, performing an Olympic lift, jumping on a box, or doing double unders, there are many elements of CrossFit that train our accuracy. Our WODs challenge us in this area in nearly every WOD. If we can be accurate, we can be efficient, and we can therefore be more powerful. My WUU has also been training my accuracy, but in different ways. I have had to become accurate at typing (thank goodness for spell check), at brushing my hair, at tossing a salad, at cutting an apple, and, of course, at driving.

In Summary
On many of these items, CrossFit has taught me that with patience, practice, and perseverance, things improve. And in my WUU, with patience, practice and perseverance, things will improve. CrossFit has given me some skills to get through the unknown and unknowable, and for that I am blessed. As CrossFitters, we work on these things together. Our WODs contain elements related to these items. My WUU contains elements related to these items. These things tie us together, unite us, and make us one, as we have each experienced them in one form or another. So, while I am doing my WUU, all my CrossFit friends are doing their WODs. And in these workouts, we are bound together. This I have learned.

I have never been so challenged as I have been over the past 3 months. There are many adjectives I can use to describe what I have been feeling. Surprisingly, they are not all negative. Yes, there are the ones like scared, hurting, and angry. But there are also many more positive ones. There is also optimistic, faithful, overwhelmed, thankful, blessed, etc. I have been so overwhelmed by the love and support from my friends, family, and loved ones. And this love and support has consistently reminded me of the positive adjectives.

And there are those friends I really don't know, who have reached out to me via FaceBook. Many of who are in the CrossFit community, through which we are united. The worldwide CrossFit community has reached out to me, wrapped their arms around me, and held me close. They have prayed for me, done workouts for me, and sent me positive wishes and thoughts, when I have felt down. They have lent me their strength when I needed it. As CrossFitters, we are bound together by the experiences we share, no matter where we live, or whether or not we actually know each other. And I know this now, more than ever. As CrossFitters, they are doing for me, what I would be doing for any one of them. We are a community that is bound together, whether we know each other or not. I am truly blessed to be a part of this community, to have shared in the same experiences with my friends all over the world, whether in a WOD or a WUU.

The Road and Destroying Asteroids

It is ever-changing. It is unpredictable. What you expect to happen, may not happen, and what may happen, may be unexpected. It is long, but also short. It is straight, but full of twists and turns.

I could not navigate this road without my support group and those who I have met along the way. These are my friends, my family, my loved ones, and my coaches. They are also my competitors, my students, and my “heroes”.

They inspire me, now more than ever.

Ironically, with the exception of the last sentence, I wrote the above a few months ago, at the start of the CrossFit Open competition. It was going to be a post on workout inspiration, but now, is appropriate for my journey ahead. It is an unpredictable roller coaster ride that I am buckling in for, and ready to go. It is also a road that I could not navigate without my support group and those who I have met along the way. Again, these are my friends, my family, my loved ones, and my coaches. They are also my competitors, my students, and my “heroes”. They are also now the doctors and nurses I interact with.

I am ready to battle, fight, and take this on. I am ready for the road ahead. This week it starts. Treatments. I can’t say that I am not afraid, because it is the unknown, like the road, which provides for a certain amount of fear. And there will be bumps, but there are always bumps, and that is normal. But bumps are just that, bumps. So, although I have some fear, I also have perspective. Treatments are designed to ensure, get rid of, eliminate, and kill any remaining bad cells. And these are all good things. Very good things.

I liken it to Asteroids, the old arcade game in which the fighter ship destroyed all the asteroids before the asteroids destroyed the fighter ship. I played this game a lot growing up, and it will be in my mind during the treatments. I am the fighter ship and I will be annihilating asteroids.

I saw this quote the other day, and it really makes sense.

“Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass. It's about learning to dance in the rain.” It’s time I learned to dance. I’ve always felt I’ve done so, but now I need to be consistent about it. I want to dance and I need to dance.

And with the love and support of my family, friends, and those who have crossed my path and inspired me in some way, I will traverse the road, destroy the asteroids, and emerge on the other side stronger, healthier, and thankful.

I am deeply touched by those of you in my life and in the lives of those I love. I am grateful and deeply moved.

Rays of Sunshine

Even a cloudy day has rays of sunshine. And today, although there are not really any clouds where I live, the proverbial cloud exists, and through it, and outside as well, the sun is shining through, and the rays are strong!

I met with my surgeon today. It was an excellent meeting, filled with rays of sunshine. I feel so fortunate and blessed.

First ray, his words, “you are ahead of the curve”. His words. Not mine. He said this to me. He said I am doing fantastic. The fact that I am so healthy and recovering so nicely has put me ahead of the curve. I am excited to learn about this. CrossFit has prepared me well.

Second ray, I found out some good and exciting news that I was hoping for, in terms of the actual surgery. It went very well. Very well. Not to get into details, but I heard some of what I was hoping to hear. And this was and is good.

Third ray, he gave me the go-ahead to begin more active exercise. Cardio – rowing, running, jump rope, etc., whatever I feel up to, but being careful not to push too hard to start with. It will make me tired faster. I can also do body weight exercises – pull ups, push ups, squats, etc. Hopefully my body will remember how! But I was told I could try. And while I cannot lift heavy weights yet, I was told that I can lift 30% of what I was doing prior to surgery, and in another month or so, more. While I totally understand that it will take me a while to get back to where I was, the opportunity to begin to recover is a huge ray of sunshine.

And my family, friends, and those who I don’t know personally who have reached out to me, are also rays of sunshine. I am so thankful for those who have touched me, contacted me, and prayed for me throughout this process, and who continue to do so. I am deeply moved and emotionally overwhelmed by this outpour of love. That seems to be the most descriptive word I have – overwhelmed. Thank you all. Thank you.

So even on the cloudiest of days, there are rays of sunshine. No matter what the circumstance, there are rays of sunshine. Sometimes it may be difficult to see them, but they are there, peaking through the clouds, waiting to be discovered. Today the sun is shining, and the rays are strong.

So tomorrow is a new day, with new rays of sunshine. And tomorrow I WOD for the first time since March 30.

Bull Tossing

I believe, now more than ever, that we have the ability to impact our own lives simply by having the right attitude. We can have a pity party, or take the bull by the horns and decide to toss it around a bit. While I cannot currently, physically toss the bull around, I mentally can. And that bull is flying far.


I have this vision of a cartoon bull flying through the air, with this perplexed look on his face, wondering what happened. Unfortunately I can't find the appropriate image to share. Little did he know that I had picked him up by the horn, spun him around in the air above me, and tossed him aside. I will replay this vision over and over in my head, as a reminder to stay positive, take the bull by the horns, and toss it aside.


I know that there will be good days and bad days. I am not unrealistic. But I also know that I can control how I approach each day, with grace, determination, and grit, and occasional embarrassment. Yesterday was embarrassment – don’t ask! Today is determination and bull-tossing!


Doctor’s appointments start this week – weeks of follow up. I get to see my surgeon, and hopefully will get cleared to do a little more than walk. Although walking is tiring in itself after what I have just been through. I was going to do Pat’s Run this weekend, but that has now changed. I don’t know if I could walk the 4.2 miles, at least not right now. So then it will have to be next year’s run… And I will run.


I am truly blessed by being surrounded by loved ones. They will help me keep this perspective, this I am sure. I am equally blessed to be in the thoughts of so many. Thank you. You continue to inspire me and motivate me.


Here’s to bull tossing!!!!

Making Lemonade

You never know what life will throw at you, and all you can do is hope that you are as prepared as possible, and surrounded by people who love you and who you love.

On Saturday, April 2 I went to the emergency room with horrible headaches. Several hours later I was told, after a CT Scan, that I had a mass in my head/brain. What that meant at the time, I was not sure. They said I needed surgery and I was going to be admitted to ICU. Surgery wasn’t going to be until Monday at the earliest. So, ICU for a couple of days while they ran more tests to see what was there.

I ended up having surgery on Tuesday morning, then back to ICU.

I have been blessed in many ways. First, the tumor that was removed was fully encapsulated. This made removal better than it could have been. Also, thanks to CrossFit, I am very healthy and fit. I am also not too old – at least I like to think that… So age is a good factor for me.

I have been surrounded by loved ones and friends ever since I was admitted. My partner, Jen, my dear friend Eileen (E), and the trainers and others from CrossFit Phoenix. I have also been in the thoughts of many people who I have spent time with, who I haven’t’ seen in a while. My Anthem cycling community, and other distant relatives.

My Facebook community has been overwhelming. And the CrossFit community as well. People I don’t really even know have been wishing me their best, praying for me, and keeping me in their thoughts. I am overwhelmed by this outreach, and truly feel blessed. So blessed.

The next journey begins this week. Radiation and Chemo, to ensure that I get anything left behind out of my head. I am kicking this thing to the curb. And kicking it far. I don’t want it back, and I am pissed off. One thing CrossFit has prepared me for is a fight. And I am fighting all the way.

I have many weeks ahead of me. Lots of appointments, changes, and challenges. I will attack them all like the most difficult WOD. And I will get this done. 3, 2, 1….. FIGHT!!! I am kicking ass and taking names!!!!!!

So this is the first of some posts to start to document the changes that are taking place, and allow me the ability to ”talk” about what is going on.

Right now I just feel overwhelmed by the outpour of love and support. Truly overwhelmed.

I also feel like I was just handed a ton of lemons, and I plan on making a ton of lemonade!

Chasing Rabbits

When we work out, there is always someone who or something that inspires us to do more, work harder, be faster, achieve something that we didn’t think possible. The rabbit. The dog chasses it, constantly trying to catch it. It may not always catch it, but it will try. It will make the best effort every single time it tries. For us, the rabbit is very individualized. It is different for everyone. And we all have a rabbit – something or someone that keeps us going in the face of all odds, that gets us through, that challenges or inspires us, that pushes us.

Perhaps it is a piece of equipment. A heavy kettlebell that you want to eventually swing, or the rings you one day hope to do muscle ups on, or the heavy barbell you someday want to put overhead. It is the inspiration -- that object that signifies that the goal was achieved; you did what you needed to do with it or to it.

Or maybe it’s a person. That one person you always compare yourself to, that you try to emulate, that you try to beat, or that just pushes you in all the right directions, so that you are able to do things you never thought possible. This person might be you coach, who is always in your face, pushing you, who has made you master your technique so that you are capable, or who encourages you daily to try. Or maybe it’s someone you work out with, who is always the one to beat, who pushes you to try heavier weights, work faster during a WOD, to put out that extra effort when you thought you had nothing left to give.

Or maybe it’s something entirely different. Maybe a hero, or family member, or cause that creates the inspiration to achieve more, do more, lift more or just simply be more. Maybe it’s something you didn’t really know about at the time, but it has become evident over time, that there was just something there, pushing you to be better, be faster, lift more, and continue when you didn’t think you could.

We all have a rabbit. And when our rabbit is in hiding, we miss it. We need our rabbits. We do better when we are chasing them. We do more weight, have faster times, and better techniques. We need to chase a rabbit.


Think about it. What or who is your rabbit? Your inspiration? Are you in hot pursuit? It’s time to catch the rabbit.


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Embrace the Bug's Life

Not every workout will be a PR, be perfect, be great, of even be good. You won’t finish every single workout with the feeling that you are on top of the world, unstoppable, and so far ahead of the game that no one could reach you if they tried. Some workouts may totally suck, break you down, bring you to tears and make you feel like quitting entirely. Some may take you into a deep, dark place that you don’t share with others – that edge of despair. Let’s face it, sometimes you are the bug, and sometime the windshield. You can’t always be the windshield, so when you are the bug, recognizing what it is, is half the battle of getting over it, and perhaps embracing it a little.

If all of our workout were perfect, PRs, unbelievably excellent, then it may just be because we are making them a little too easy. Maybe the weight is not heavy enough, or we are not pushing ourselves hard enough. PRs, especially for strength work, are one thing. They are difficult to make “easy”, I give you that… But workouts? Metcons? If they are consistently too easy, and you are consistently the windshield, then maybe you need to step it up a bit, make it a bit more challenging. Maybe push yourself harder, increase the weight used, decrease the time allowed for the same amount of work, etc.

It’s those moments when we are the bug, that we experience growth, both emotionally and physically. When we challenge ourselves emotionally, we are able to endure more. When we challenge ourselves physically, we are able to do more. If we are able to endure more emotionally, and do more physically, don’t you think we will become better athletes? And stronger bugs? Just because you are the bug, doesn’t mean that you always end up on the windshield. Many bugs live a happy life, without ever meeting the windshield. And wouldn’t you think that a stronger bug is harder to kill, would live longer in nature, and perhaps ricochet off the windshield?
So go out and embrace the bug’s life! It makes the windshield experiences all the sweeter.

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